


Family Business

by oboewankenobi



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anxiety Attacks, Dorks in Love, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Family Drama, Family Secrets, Hurt, Love, M/M, Mushy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Use, Protective Craig, Romance, Secrets, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-06-01 09:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15140414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oboewankenobi/pseuds/oboewankenobi
Summary: Tweek Bros, your local distributor for coffee. Also your local distributor for drugs.Tweek his whole life has only known two things: coffee and drugs. He never knew anything else. Until the day before junior year the local raven haired Craig comes into the coffee shop. He had not thought about him since they ended their fake relationship in elementary school. Giving Craig the space he wanted. Now Craig has walked into his life and Tweek cannot be the same.





	1. Coffee and Old Friends

**Author's Note:**

> I have always wanted to write a fanfiction like this. I did make Tweek's character a little bit different. Hope you all like it!

You know what is fun? Spending your last day of summer before junior year of high school working at your parent’s coffee shop.

You know what is even more fun? Selling coffee and meth at your parent’s local coffee shop on the last day of summer.

You heard me right.

M

E

T

H

Meth. Turns out my parents have been South Park’s local distributer since before I was born. They had a whole underground empire if I am being honest. They just call themselves local distributers.

I full heartily believe that my parents would test their meth out on me. But I do not have the proof. Expect for the fact, I was going bald from pulling on my hair, I could barely sit still, and I thought the government was watching me twenty-four seven. I know that I became less of spaz when they introduced me to the business. Probably did not want their seller to be high on their own supply.

They introduced me to the family business the summer before freshman year of high school. That was fun.

Learning about how we hide the meth in the bottom of certain coffee cups.

Learning which costumers get a cup and what code words they use.

I hated it at first. I was always afraid that the cops were going to bust down the doors and arrest us all. Developed general anxiety and panic attacks due to this. After a while though, I got used to it. I knew the regulars, knew what cups to use. The only time cops came by was for coffee. They never suspected us. Who would for Christ sake?! My parents made a good image of themselves over the years. A nice, down to earth family.

As the years passed I have grown bored. Really bored. Which is why I am doodling on the counter on my last day of summer.

Business has been slow. The cops have been really cracking down lately. They do this every year around this time though. They will eventually stop though, once they realize that they cannot trace the meth.

I do enjoy when the cops crack down, because it means I get a few weeks off. That means I can go do absolutely nothing. Just sit in my room and play some video games.  

The little bell above the door rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. I jumped off the stool and stood up. There was Craig Tucker with Clyde and Jimmy. We had not talked or really seen each other since the end of elementary school when we ended our fake relationship.

_“We should just not hang out for a while. That way people do not try to ship us together again.” Craig said. “O-o-okay.” Why was he leaving me? Did the president put him up to this! He probably is going to bomb us soon! I started to pull out my hair. Craig grabbed my hands. “We will hang out eventually. Just give me time.” he said smiling at me. “I p-pr-promise Craig.”_

I was heartbroken. I did have feelings for Craig, but you know I cannot make him have feelings for me.

I studied his face as he talked with them. It had been a long time since I had actually looked at him. His blue eyes seemed to be as blue as the sky. I know that is cheesy, but it is true. His raven black hair was pulled back into a bun, that exposed how chiseled his face was. He had some stubble growing on his chin. He smiled at something Jimmy said, showing off his dimples. Oh god, those dimples.

As they walked up to the counter I noticed that he had grown over the years. Craig looked to be as tall as me. Which meant he was probably six five.

“Well, look who it is!” Clyde said. “H-h-h-hi T-tw-tweek.” Jimmy said. “Hi guys.” I said looking away from Craig. “How have you been dude! We haven’t seen you in like, years.” Clyde said leaning against the counter. “Yeah, I have been busy.” _Running my parent’s local meth business._

I glanced at Craig, who was looking anywhere but at me.

“What can I get you all?” I asked turning around. “Just a plain vanilla Frappuccino.” Clyde said. “Bl-black coffee.”

I got their drinks ready and slid them across the counter. “Anything for you Craig?” I asked. He finally looked at me. God, I could drown in those blue eyes. “Green tea please.” He said with a little lisp on the ‘s’. It must be because of his braces.

As I poured the hot water I listened in to their conversation.

“Just talk to him Craig.” Clyde whispered.

“No.” he hissed back.

“W-why?” Jimmy responded.

“Because.” Craig said bluntly.

“Because you are afraid he doesn’t love you anymore?” Clyde asked.  

“He doesn’t know.” Craig hissed, clearly getting more and more mad.

“That your gay?”

I dropped the water all over my pants. “SHITTTTTTTTTTT!” I screamed. “Are you okay Tweek?” Clyde asked. I turned toward them, “I am fine.” I patted my pants with napkins. I looked like I fucking pissed my pants. “Are you sure?” Craig asked. I shook my head yes, a clear blush coming across my face. I grabbed an apron and wrapped around my waist. There was no way Craig was going to see me like this.

I turned around. I grabbed a new cup and made his tea; listening to their conversation again.

“Just ask him to hang.” Clyde said.

“No.” he said.

“W-w-why?” Jimmy asked.

“He probably won’t want to.” Craig sighed.

“Why?” Clyde asked.

I could hear Craig sigh. I knew what he was about to say.

“Because, I told him that we should no longer hang out.” he whispered.

“That was years ago dude. He probably doesn’t remember.”

“Y-y-yeah.”

I put the lid on the tea and slid it across the counter. Craig grabbed the cup. “Thanks.” he mumbled. “Do you want to hang out with us after school tomorrow?” Clyde blurted out. I looked at the raven-haired boy. He was glaring at Clyde. I was going to keep my promise to Craig. “Uhm, I would like to…” “I sense a butt coming up.” Clyde said. “But, I have to work. Tomorrow we are going to be busy with school starting up.”

“Well, that sucks ass.” Clyde said taking a drink.

“We could come here and help you out.” Craig said closing his eyes taking a sip.

My eyes grew big, “You do not have to do that!” “Too bad, we are coming!” Clyde said. My heart began to race. They cannot work here. They would discover what we actually do! Oh god, my parents would fucking kill me.

I felt a panic attack coming.

I glanced up at Craig. By the look on his face, he realized what was happening. “Or…” he said, “we could just come and hang out.”

I shook my head yes. “T-that is fine.” I said. Clyde smiled really big, “Well I guess we will see you tomorrow!” They handed me their money and left.

I watched them leave. “That was close.” I whispered to myself. I began to draw on the counter again, when the bell rang. I looked up to see Craig standing with the door open. “I think I have had enough time.” he said and closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if the chapter is a little chaotic. I was trying to think how Tweek might think. I am also trying to figure out how I exactly want to write this story! 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~


	2. Lit Cigarette

It was 3:48 when I woke up. There was a light rain. "Ugh." I moaned sitting up in bed. Even though I was no longer on my parents meth I still could not sleep long. Some nights I was lucky if I slept this late. Probably a long term affect of being on that stuff for too long. Also, the fact that I start school tomorrow probably plays into it. I opened the window to listen to the sound of rain. I laid my head on the palm of my hand. I enjoyed the summer rains. They brought a calmness with them.

_Tomorrow Craig will be hanging out with me at the coffee shop!_

My heart raced at the thought of that. This will be the first time that we have hung out since our breakup. My mind wondered to those days of us "dating". We were doing everything together. It was like we were inseparable. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. Well, expect for the meth business my parents ran. My parents did not like the idea of us hanging out so much. They were afraid he would see something. I would get yelled at if I brought him to the shop. 

A figure appeared disrupting my thoughts.

_Oh god! It is the cops! They had figured us out!_

I laid down on my bed, peeking my head up to look out the window. The figure got closer and stopped under the street lamp. They looked really familiar. I sat up a little more so I could see properly. 

They were looking around. Once they thought that no one was watching them, they bent down. That is when I saw the blue chullo. 

_What is Craig doing out in the rain?_

He looked around again as he opened the bottom of the street lamp. I watched as he pulled out something. I leaned out my window a little more to get a look at what it could be. 

He leaned against the street lamp and pulled something out of the box in his hand. He put it in his mouth and lit it. "Craig smokes?" I whispered to myself. If his parents found out they would kill him. They hated smoking, thought it was something that caused you to be stupid. They thought I smoked. 

Craig looked very attractive as he smoked. I watched him inhale slowly. He seemed to be savoring the cigarette. He sighed letting out the smoke. "That's hot." I whispered to myself. 

I continued to watch him as he smoked. There was something so peaceful about this moment. To Craig, it was just him and the quiet night. The rain began to pick up. Lightning lit up the night sky and a thunder roared from far away. Craig looked up. You could see the disappointment on his face. His peaceful night, ruined. He threw the cigarette on the ground. 

He looked around again before putting the cigarette box back into the street lamp. He closed the little hatch. As he slowly stood up, he looked around. That is when our eyes met.

_CRAP! He probably thinks I am some freak sitting here watching him._

He continued to look at me as the rain fell. I did not want to look away or blink, in fear that he might disappear. Lightning lit up the sky again, with it I could see a small smile on Craig's face. I blushed, slowly raising my hand and waving it. He waved back as thunder clapped. It felt like it was just us in this moment. All of South Park had disappeared. 

Craig and Tweek. 

Craig motioned his head back in the direction he came. I guess he was trying to tell me he was leaving. I smiled and nodded. I watched as he turned on his heels and began walking back. My eyes followed him until he was out of sight. I just stared, wondering what that exchange just meant. 

Another flash of lightning hit. I saw something that caught my attention. My eyes was drawn to the car at the end of the street. Someone was sitting in it. I squinted my eyes to get a better look. Lightning flashed, exposing it as a cop car. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the person staring right at me. I closed my window quickly and laid down. Praying that they were not onto us. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short, but I really enjoyed writing it. I felt like it would be nice to write a somewhat intimate moment. I am slowly figuring out the writing style I want to do with this fanfiction. I have also figured out a little of how I want their relationship to develop. I hope you all are enjoying my version of Tweek. I am loving the comments from everyone! :3
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~


	3. First Day of Classes

My dad slowly pulled up to South Park High. “Are you excited for your first day?” he asked. I shrugged, “Eh. It just means I am one year closer to graduating.” “And one year closer to running your own coffee shop!” my dad chimed. “Yeah…”

Once I graduated my dad was going to buy some property at the other end of town. It was going to be another Tweak Bro’s, but I ran this one.

If you are wondering if I will be selling meth, the answer is yes. I could not get away that easy.

“You need to start looking for a business partner.” my dad said as he pulled up to the sidewalk. “I told you dad, I do not want one.” “Well, if you still want to go to college and get that business degree you do.” he said.

My father also wanted me to get a business degree. Said it would help out with our marketing and whatnot. They did not care that I might want to do something else with my life.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I did not want to have this conversation at 7:40 in the morning.

“Then why not wait to open the shop once I get done with college?” I asked trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice. “Because, we need to expand. That way it will make it harder for the cops to pin point us.” I finally turned to look at him. “They have yet to catch you all in how many years? We do not need a second place.” I grabbed my backpack and opened the door.

“Tweek!” he yelled as I walked inside. It seems that I will never be able to get away from this. No matter how bad I want to.

* * *

My first three classes were not that bad. It was just calculus, English, and history. My fourth period though, I was excited for.

I walked into the art room. This had been my favorite subject since I was in elementary school. There was something about the way painting, sculpting, drawing, chalking calmed me. I studied the room. Mrs. Lane had moved the tables around, but other than that is was the same art room I had come to love. I sat in my favorite spot by the window. It was nice to look up and see the landscape. The tall trees, a pond that had some wildlife visiting it, and the beautiful sky. Sometimes I would picture myself escaping through those trees.

“Mind if I sit here?” a voice asked disrupting my thoughts. I nearly fell out of my seat when I saw the blue chullo. “Y-y-y-yes.” I stuttered trying to regain my composure. Craig pulled out the stool beside me and set down.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Out of all the classes we could have ever had together, we had to have this one. I glanced at him. God, he was attractive. My mind wondered to last night and our little exchange.

_Should I bring it up?_

“You know Tweek,” he said with a small smile, “if you take a picture it will last longer.” I nearly croaked over. “I-I’m sorry!” I said looking away. A clear blush coming over my cheeks. I heard him giggle a little. “I am just kidding with you.”

We sat there in silence for what felt like, I don’t know, an eternity. The world seemed to disappear around me. I knew the teacher was talking, but she wasn’t there. It was just me and Craig.  

The silence was finally broke when Craig spoke, “Do you want to be my drawing partner?” I gave him a look. He somehow knew I wasn’t paying attention. Probably from all those times being in class together. “We are supposed to draw someone from the class. Do you want to draw me?”

Suddenly the room became very hot. “S-s-sure!” I said grabbing by drawing pad.

We turned to face each other, deciding I should go first. I studied him as I began to draw. “So, you saw me last night.”

I twitched causing a huge mark across the page. “Y-yeah. Sorry about creeping on you. I could not sleep.” I said trying to erase the mark. “It is fine. I did not mind it actually.” I could feel my face burn. “So…when did you start smoking?” I asked keeping my eyes on the page. “Since freshman year.” he said. “Started smoking because I just needed something to make me feel.” I glanced at him.

“How does smoking make you feel?”

Before he could answer, Mrs. Lane came by. “How is it going over here?” she asked. “It is going good.” Craig said looking at me. “Y-yeah.” I responded. “You got yourself an amazing partner Craig. Tweek is absolutely amazing.”

“I know he is.”

* * *

After art, Craig and I did not have any more classes together. Which was for the best, because I do not think my heart could take anymore of that.

The rest of my school day went by pretty quick. Before I knew it, I was walking home. I always enjoyed this time of day. It was peaceful. I listened to the bird chirp as I walked.

I turned the corner to Tweak Bros when I stopped in my tracks. There were three police cars sitting in front of the store. My heart began to race.

_Dear god! They found us! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!_

I could feel the panic attack coming. I slowly started to move. Dreading what I was going to see I opened the door.

My mom was sitting in the booth crying while my dad was talking to the cops. I did not see any handcuffs. Yet.

“Tweek!” my mom screamed as the door shut. She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “It is fine. They aren’t here to arrest us.” she whispered in my ear. I could feel my whole body relax. I sent up a prayer to whoever thanking them.

Even though I hated my dad, I still loved my mom and she loved me. She had been there for me when Craig left. When I went through my withdrawal. When I went through every panic and anxiety attack imaginable.

I wrapped my arms around my mother. Holding her small body close to me. “What happened?” I asked.

“Some man came in here with a gun while I was gone.” my father said. While he was gone, meant he was out getting meth from our local makers. “They held the gun to my face, demanding money.” my mom whispered holding back her tears.

My mom should not have been in this business. She was too nice and too kind to people. I think the meth heads took advantage of that. That is probably who was here. Someone wanting their next fix, but could not afford it so they tried to just steal it from us.  

“It is okay Mrs. Tweak. We will find who did this.” one of the cops said.

They better hope they find them before my father does. Because if they don’t, they will never find him.

I sat with my mom as the cops finished interviewing my dad. “We will be back later tonight to do one final check around the place to make sure there was no evidence that we left behind.” they said as they left

Once they were gone, my father got on the phone with his people. “Find him and bring him in here.” was all he said.

He came back over to us. “We are going to get him sweetie.” he said rubbing her back. My mom just shook her head. “Maybe we should just lay low for a while. The cops will be hanging around here to try and get the perp.” my mom whispered.

We both knew the answer to that even before he said it.

“We cannot sweetie. We will lose money if we do. It might also cause another incident like this one.” he whispered softly putting his hands on her shoulders. “But, dad they could have killed mom.” I said. He turned his attention to me. “We cannot close. Not yet. This is one of the busies times of the year.” he glared at me.

I knew that there was no arguing with him.

The bell above the door rang, drawing our attention to it. There stood Craig. “Sorry sir. We are closed for the day.” my dad said. “Oh. I was just coming here to hang out with Tweek. But I can come back.” Craig said motioning toward the door. “Wait!” my mom said jumping off the chair. “Are you Craig?” she said moving toward him. “Like the Craig that my boy use to date?” she asked grabbing his hand. You could tell was slowly becoming uncomfortable.   

He shook his head yes. My mom’s eyes lit up. She was formulation something.

“How about you and Tweek go out somewhere.” she said.

She turned toward me. “Yeah. You two go somewhere. Your father and I will clean up here.” By cleanup it meant replacing all the coffee cup with meth with regular coffee cups before the cops come back.

“Mom, do not push me onto Craig.” I said. But, in reality I wanted to stay here with my mom and keep her safe. My dad did care for her, do not get me wrong, but he cared more for his business.

“I do not mind.” Craig said. I glanced at him then back at my mom.

 _Go,_ she mouthed. I got up and walked over to Craig. “Just be back by night time.” she said. I looked back at my mom one more time, my eyes asking if she was okay.

She nodded her head. I turned and walked out the door.

* * *

Once we rounded the corner I looked at Craig. “There was a robbery in the shop right before I got home.” Craig just looked at me. “I wish they had called me. I really love my mom.” I said looking down. “If something had happened to her…” I choked as I held back my tears.

“Here, let’s sit down.” Craig said motioning toward a tree.

We set down, leaning our backs into it. We sat there quietly. Normally the silence would kill me, causing me to panic. But with Craig it felt natural and calming.

Have any of you ever lived in a constant state of anxiety, that it soon became your normal? You forgot what it was like to not be that way? Well, with Craig it was like I finally remembered.

“I am glad your mom is safe.” Craig finally said. I shook my head in agreeance. “I just wish my dad would close the shop for a little bit.” “Why won’t he.” I had to think of my words carefully. “Because the coffee shop is our livelihood. If we close we lose money. Lost money means no food.” I said slowly, making sure I did not give anything away.

“That sucks man.”

I turned and looked at Craig. “Why did you let my mom push me onto you?” I finally asked. He turned and looked at me. Our eyes locked. Those blue eyes were searching for something. “Because,” he said not looking away, “I want to get to know you again Tweekers.”

My heart skipped a beat when he said that. Tweekers was the nickname he gave me when we first started dating. After we broke up, I yelled at anyone that called me that.

“Why do you want to know me again?”

He leaned in. “Because I still have feelings for you Tweekers.” he whispered. My cheeks became hot. Then I felt his cool lips kissing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I loved writing the art scene and the last little bit. I want to add some more cutesy parts. I am starting to like how I making their relationship! It will take me awhile to update because I am also working on another South Park fanfiction. 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~


	4. Goodbye, Sweet Dreams

I woke up at 12:09 with a splitting headache. I moaned as I slowly got up and walked to the bathroom. I got a headache like these a lot, especially during stress. My mom thinks it is because of being in a constant state of anxiety. I think it is a side effect to taking meth the majority of my life. The hallway is dark. It was eerie like there was something hanging out in the halls ready to jump at me. 

I walked slowly to the bathroom. While walking it seemed as if the hallway was moving along with me. Everything seemed groggy almost like a haze. As I grabbed the door handle I heard something break in the kitchen. 

_Oh god! That must be robbers!_

I looked around. My parents were not waking up. Then there was another noise followed by my mother's cries. "What the?" I said going down the stairs. As I touched the last step, I leaned my head to look in the kitchen. My mom was on the ground cleaning something up. It looked like a cup. She was crying hard. "Honey, you know how I feel about that." I heard my dad. I could not see him so he must be by the window. "We have to continue this business. If not we will be homeless." he said with a quiet voice. He only used that voice when he was mad. 

"Even if it costs us our safety?" she whispered. I looked at her, there was a hand print on her face. I could feel myself begin to boil with rage. I knew that there was abuse going on, but I never saw it. I never had enough proof to call the cops.

_God. I hate my father!_

My dad walked so quickly. The next thing I knew he was pulling my mom up by her arm. "Yes. I will not close this store." He was squeezing her wrist. I watched as she tried to get loose. Blinded by rage, I ran at my dad. I was going to stop him. My mother did not deserve to be treated this way. I hit him hard across the face, causing him to fall down. 

"DO NOT HURT MY MOTHER!" I screamed. My dad turned and looked at me. There was a rage in his eyes. "I will do what I want!" he said getting up. Over the years I had grown taller than him. I clenched my fist, ready to hit him again. My mom grabbed my arm. I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were pleading with me. I unclenched my fist, but I put myself between her and my dad. 

"Son, you better not do that again." "Or what?" I asked. He looked me in my eyes, "You'll find yourself a little more tweeky." I knew what that meant. My dad was going to put me back on meth. I knew he had the power to do it. I could not stop him. 

I felt my shoulder's drop. 

He smiled as he walked past us. Once we heard the door shut, we both sighed. "Tweek, you knew better." she said throwing away the shards. "I could not stand by and watch him hit you." I said. She leaned against the counter. I could see her shoulders shaking. I bit my lip, thinking. "Mom, you do not deserve to be here." I said. She just smiled back at me, "I married him Tweek. I have to be here. Besides," she turned her back to me and looked out the window, "there is no way I could leave. I do not have the means and I could not leave you." My heart ached with a pain that I had never felt before. It was a mixture of sadness and guilt. 

_So, I am the reason that she is staying behind. Going through this abuse._

"Wait here mom." I said running up to my room. 

I opened up the closet door. Moving some clothes from off the floor I found the small fake wall that I put in. I pulled it away reveling over ten thousand dollars, a plane ticket, a disposable phone, and the deed to a small trailer in Vermont. I threw them in the bag. I ran back downstairs. I looked at my mom. She was still looking out the window. The moonlight made her look younger. I wondered what my mom's life would have been like if she never met my dad. If she never got into this nasty business. If I had never been born.

I coughed to get her attention. "Here." I whispered. My mom took the bag. While looking inside her eyes grew wide, "Tweek." "Take it and leave mom. You do not need to be here." I said. "But I cannot leave you Tweek." I could feel the tears in my eyes. "You need to go mom. If you don't then something bad could happen. I will be okay." I grabbed her shoulders, "Please mom." She looked at me, "I can't honey." I squeezed her shoulders and whispered, "Yes you can mom. I will meet you once I collect enough money to get to Vermont." I watched the battle happening in her eyes. Deep down I knew she did not want to leave. This was her home, but she needed to. She needed to be safe. "Okay." she said with tears in her eyes. 

I hugged her. We stood there for a moment, crying. 

After some time, we broke apart. I went up to the room to make sure my dad was asleep, while my mom called a taxi. I opened the door. He was in the bed, sprawled out and snoring. I slowly closed the door. I walked downstairs. "Now is your chance mom." I said. We walked quickly to the door and opened it. It was raining again. The cab was idling in the street. Mom hugged me for one last time. 

"I love you so much Tweek." she whispered. 

"I love you too mom." I said back. 

I held back the tears as she got into the cab. She waved as the cab drove off. I waved back finally letting the tears flow again. I do not know how long I stood there; crying in the rain. I probably would have stood there the whole night if I had not felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Craig standing there. He must have been smoking over by the lamp post, watching us. My body acted on its own as I wrapped my arms around him. Instead of pushing away, he wrapped his arms around me. He held me close. While rubbing my back he let me cry into his chest. I cried, but my tears were for a selfish reason this time. I cried because I wish I was in that cab, going to Vermont. 

We stood there in silence for a long time. I think we were afraid of breaking the silence. I was afraid because I might spill everything to Craig. Him holding me like this reminded me of elementary school. He would hold me like this when I was having a panic attack. It was calming. I wanted to stay like this forever. Funny how things work, right. I was glad that Craig finally broke the silence. "I think it is time to wake up Tweek." Craig whispered. 

"Huh?" I said looking up at him. "It's time to wake up sweetie." he said again, but his voice changed into my moms. "What the hell!" I began to back away. "Tweek" my moms voice hummed. How could this be happening? She just left. I should not hear her voice. 

_Maybe I am back on meth. I remember having events like this when I was on it._

"Tweek, you are going to be late for school." my mom cooed. I held my hands over my ears, screaming. "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!" Then the world went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is weird, but it was fun to write. I will explain everything in the next chapter! 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~  
> Follow my fanfiction tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lovelyblossoms


	5. Walks to School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have read the previous chapter before this one, please go back and read it. I changed it because I did not like the way the chapter was. It was nothing major, just a clean up.

I woke up to my mother shaking me. "Tweek!" she said. I looked around the room. My mom was standing at my bedside. She had not left to go to Vermont. I pulled her into a hug letting the tears flow. "Tweek what is wrong?" she said rubbing my back. It was something she would do to try and soothe me when I was anxious. "I just had this bad dream." I whispered. She sat beside me. I studied her face, not ever wanting to forget it. "Well," she said moving my hair out of my face, "your bad dream is over and everything is okay." 

"Is it though?" I asked. Mom gave me a questionable look. "What do you mean sweetie?" "We run a meth business! The police could bust down our doors any minute and take you away!" I said with tears falling down my face. I did not want to lose my mother. She was the only thing that kept me sane, or as close as I could be, 

Mom kissed my forehead. "Do not worry Tweek. The cops will not be able to catch us." Hearing that made me calm down a little. 

Something was bothering me though. In my dream, my dad beat my mom. I have never suspected that though. My dad is clearly infatuated with my mom. He would never lay a hand on her. But I could not get that out of my head. "Mom..." I said quietly. "Yes?" I looked down at my hands, they were covered in scars. Years of meth and paranoia will do that to you. "Does dad hit you?" "No. Why do you ask?" she asked. "Well...in my dream dad did. Then I gave you some things to escape and run away." I said slowly. I did have money stashed in the closest, but I did not want mom to know. "He would never do anything to me. You know why?" I shook my head yes. "One, because he loves me with everything in him. Just in case though, I did tell him if he ever did anything I would expose him and run away before they could catch me." 

I was in shock to here my mother say this. I would have never pictured her to say things like that, especially to my father of all people. She giggled. "I can tell that you are shocked about this. But that is one of the reasons that your father wanted to marry me. He knew that he could trust me no matter what, but still be independent and save myself." she said rubbing my cheek. "Your father wants you to find someone like that." 

I rolled my eyes. I did not want to find a partner for this business, because I did not want to be a part of it. I was going to run away once school was over and I had graduated. That is why I had that money in my closet. I have been saving ever since I could remember. I would do odd jobs that were willing to pay. 

"What if I do not want one? What if I do not want to run the business?" I asked. My mom smiled at me, "That is fine. Your father would be hurt, but I think he would understand. Sometimes he just forgets it." she said. I rolled my eyes again. She kissed my forehead, "I know you do not think this, but he does love you." 

There was a knock on my door. "Hey, it dad. Craig is downstairs." I looked at mom confused. I do not remember Craig mentioning that he was coming over. "Okay. Tell him I will be down in a few." Mom got up and walked to the door. She turned around, "You still love him don't you honey." 

Did I still love Craig? I know that it destroyed my heart when he left me. I thought after that I would never love him again. But, my heart does flutter whenever he is around. He calms me down when I am nervous. He makes me blush by just looking at me. 

"You do not have to answer Tweek." my mom said closing the door. 

* * *

I threw on a shirt and some jeans. I chose not to even look at my wild hair. Running my fingers through it, I ran down the stairs taking two at a time. I turned to go into the kitchen when I ran into Craig. "Agh!" I yelled as I fell down. Craig caught me mid-fall. "Are you okay?" he asked. I looked at him, our eyes meeting. There was a slight blush on his face. "I am f...fine." I whispered, moving away from him. 

I quickly adjusted my shirt as I walked to my mom. "Here you go sweetie." she said handing me my lunch. "Thank you." I said glancing at Craig. My mind wandered back to my dream. Him holding me close. It was calming. My body ached for that. I did not realize how much I missed it. 

My dad's cough brought me back to reality. "Well, I think you two should be going. You do not want to be late." he said leaning against the counter. "Especially on the second day of school." my mom chimed in. I kissed her on the cheek quickly and started toward Craig. "It was good to see you again." my dad said. "It was nice to see you too, Mr. Richard." Craig responded. My dad laughed, "Call me Richard." I looked at my dad then Craig. Unless you knew him you would not be able to see that Craig was in shock. I knew when we fake dated, my dad scared him. He would always say that there was something serious about my dad that he did not want to see. "Okay." he whispered.

"Have fun today you two!" my mom said as we walked out the door. 

Once the door was shut, I let out a sigh of relief. "Why did you come here!" I asked, my voice sounding harsh. I felt a pain after the words left my mouth. "As I said, I wanted to get to know you again Tweek." he said walking. I walked alongside him, "Oh yeah..." 

There was an awkward silence. I could feel my anxiety rising. I hated these types of silences. Absolutely hated them. There was something about them that made me feel that I was being watched. Like there was a spotlight on me to say something. Out of habit, I started to pick at my hands in hopes of calming down. Craig put his hand on mine. "I see that this is still the same." I shook my head. "To be honest not a lot has changed about me. So you will probably be disappointed that I am the same messed up person that you left behind." In the corner of my eye, I saw Craig flinch. 

_Did that hurt him? Did he feel bad when he left me?_

Before I could ask Craig said, "I liked the old Tweek." A blush came over my face. "W...well what about you? Anything new?" I asked. Craig shrugged, "I mean for the most part no. I did start smoking, which you knew." he said smirking at me, showing off those dimples. 

_Fuck me. Those are cute._

"I also joined baseball freshman year." he said. My mind automatically went to an image of Craig in baseball pants. My face heated up at the thought of his ass in those. I glanced at him. Craig began to chuckle. I elbowed him in the side. "You said that on purpose." I hissed. He shook his head, continuing to chuckle. "I do not know what you are talking about. I just was letting you know what has changed." I rolled my eyes for probably the tenth time today. 

It was crazy how Craig and I got back into this groove so quickly. I would have thought that I would never have been able to do this again. We walked the rest of the way in silence. This silence was nice though. It was like how we use to walk to school. Once we got to the steps, Craig stopped. "What are you doing?" I asked. People were pushing past us; yelling at us to get out of the way. 

"This is going to sound crazy." Craig said looking at me. "Have you forgotten? I am crazy." I said twirling my finger around my head. Craig smiled, "Let's skip school." I laughed, "You are full of randomness today Mr. Craig Tucker. You randomly show up to my house this morning and then ask me if I want to skip school." He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. 

_Why is Craig wanting to do this? We have just started hanging out again._

"I do not know. We just started hanging out again Craig." I said regretting every word. I wanted to skip school and hang out with Craig, but I also still remember how bad it felt when he left me. What if he was just doing this because he felt bad for me? "Oh." Craig said looking down. There was a sadness in his face. "It is not because I do not want to hang out with you." I said quickly. Craig looked at me, all the friendliness was gone. It was back to emotionless Craig. "Then what is it?" he asked in his monotoned voice. 

I sighed and looked at the ground. Some people had stopped to look at us. "I was in love with you when you broke things off. It hurt," I looked at the ground, "It hurt me really bad." I could feel him staring at me. "I felt broken, but I understood because I thought you were just not into boys." I said continuing to look down. "But, when I overheard Clyde mention that you were gay, I began to wonder if it was because of me. I know that I was a burden. I was crazy and always thinking the government was out to get me." I said. "You weren't a-" I finally looked at him, "I could hear what people who say. 'Poor Craig, he has to drag Tweek around.' 'Craig is so nice. I could not date someone that messed up.' 'Craig must hate having to be the one to deal with Tweek.'" I could hear my voice crack. Tears were beginning to fall. 

"Tweek, I-" "I am going to go now." I said running inside the school. I did not want people to see me crying in front of Craig. Who knows what they would start to say. 

_Craig took back that crazy mess._

_How did Craig get back into that?_

_Craig deserves better._

I ran into first period and sat down. Putting my head on my desk, I began to take deep breaths. My mind though could not focus. My panic attack was slowly becoming worse. "Are you okay?" I looked up to see Kyle sitting in front of me. Kyle dressed like a boy, but I could tell that he was actually a she. Kyle had the same facial features that my mom had. 

I shook my head no. It was hard to find the words. Kyle reached across my desk and grabbed my hands. Another way you could tell, were how small her hands were. "Just look into my eyes." she said slowly. 

I looked into her green eyes. "Now just take some deep breathes. Count to three when you inhale and the countdown to one when you exhale." Kyle said. I took a deep breath. 

_One..._

_Two..._

_Three..._

"Now exhale." Kyle whispered. I breathed out.

_Three..._

_Two..._

_One..._

I felt somewhat calm, but there was still a nervousness that lingered. "Better?" I shook my head yes. Before I could thank Kyle the bell rang, signaling class to start. I started to draw on my notebook when the teacher began the lecture. I was not paying attention to my drawing until class ended. I had drawn Craig, smoking under the street lamp. I pulled the paper out and shoved it in my backpack. 

I saw Kyle getting up. I put my hand on her wrist. "Thank you for earlier." I whispered. Kyle smiled at me. "You're welcome Tweek." Kyle said then walked away.

I continued to sit there, watching everyone put up their things and leaving. I wondered what their lives were like. What they had to deal with on a daily bases. 

"You going to leave or just sit there?" a voice asked. I looked to see Craig leaning against the door. "I uh..." Craig rolled his eyes and walked to my desk. "Grab your backpack and meet me outside behind the school." he said sternly then walked away. My heart began to beat fast. 

_Oh no! Craig is clearly mad at me. He is going to tell me not to hang out with him anymore. That I am what those people say._

I grabbed my backpack and slowly walked out the door; wondering what was to come. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update! I know, I know. I have just been busy with work and writers block. I think it was due to how I had the last chapter, but I finally changed it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I was kind of nervous writing it, because I did not want it to seem like they were moving too fast. So I added some angst to help. In case you all were wondering, when talking about Kyle being a girl I am referencing my other SP fanfiction. 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~  
> Follow my fanfiction tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lovelyblossoms


	6. Galaxies of Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile since I have updated this story! I am so sorry about that. I had school starting and I was just really focusing on my other SP fanfiction. I got it where I wanted it to be, so now I think it is time I updated this one.

I made my way to the back of the school. My thoughts were going a thousand miles an hour. 

_What is Craig going to tell me?_

_Is he going to say he changed his mind? He doesn't want to hang out anymore._

I opened the door to Craig looking toward the woods and smoking. "You've slowed down since elementary school." he said keeping his eyes forward. "I guess it is because of my anxiety medication." I said. 

Craig glanced at me then back to the woods. I continued to watch him from the top of the stairs as he smoked his cigarette. You could feel the silence growing heavy. If Craig is still the same way then I was going to have to talk first. I took one step down, "About earlier-" "Follow me." he said throwing his cigarette on the ground. I shook my head as he began to walk. 

_What has gotten into him?_

I watched him walk toward the football field. I think it took him a while to realize I wasn't following him because he made it to the end of the parking lot before turning around. "Are you coming or not?" he yelled in his monotoned voice. But if you paid close attention you could hear a little bit of an annoyance. I smiled as I walked down the stairs, happy that I still could hear the small changes in his voice. 

* * *

I stayed a few steps behind Craig. "So where are we going?" I finally asked. He glanced at me then, "Do you still like doing outdoor chalk?" I shook my head yes. "Good." he said with a small smile. "Why do you ask?" I asked trying to keep up with him now. "Why are you full of questions?" he responded with a tease in his voice. I felt my face get warm. "I am just curious." I whispered. Craig chuckled, "It is okay Tweekers. I am just trying to pull your tail." "So then what are we doing?" I asked. "You'll see. It's kind of a surprise." he replied. 

We walked behind the football bleachers. Behind them were the guest parking lot that either the adults or rivaling team would park at. It was nothing big, it may be had fifteen spots. Craig opened his arms. "Here we are." he said. I looked around. The parking lot was empty. "There is nothing here." I said. "That is the point." Craig said walking over to the bleachers. I watched as he pulled out a box and a Bluetooth speaker. "What is in the box?" "Chalk." he said sitting it beside us. "What are we going to do with chalk?" Craig let a small smile slip, "Well we are going to chalk draw the parking lot." 

I turned and looked at him. "Chalk the parking lot?" I asked slowly. 

Craig looked at the box then at me. "Do you not like to do that anymore?" he asked. Craig and I, back when we were dating, loved to be outside doing things. We would go on walks, play games, and draw with chalk in our driveways. One time we drew a galaxy in Craig's driveway. We pretended we were space explorers going to different planets. 

"I haven't done outdoor chalk since we broke up." I quietly said. A sadness fell across his face. "Oh." 

"But, I still love doing chalk stuff in art. I actually won a prize freshman year for my chalk drawing." I said rubbing the back of my neck. "What did you draw?" Now, this was embarrassing. I looked down and whispered, "A galaxy." Craig chuckled, "I remember we use to draw those in my driveway." I was shocked that he remembered that. "Want to draw one again?" I asked reaching for a piece of chalk. Craig smiled, reaching for a piece. "With my artistic skills, I think I am better off doing the stars." I laughed, "Yeah. Your drawings in class look like a five year olds." 

* * *

We spent the first hour just talking about anything that came to our minds. At one point we talked about how I thought the president was going to get us all killed. "I could of sworn that he was going to get North Korea to bomb us!" I shouted. Craig rolled his eyes. "I know you were. I tried to calm you down in every possible way." he said. I wiped my hands on my now colorful jeans. "If we hadn't of sang that song then I am pretty sure we all would be dead right now." Craig smiled, "Yeah." 

I reached for another piece of chalk when Craig said, "You weren't a burden to me Tweek." I looked at him. He was looking at the ground and coloring the spaceship I had finished outlining. "You never were a burden to me." He looked up at me. His eyes were filled with a love I had not felt for a long time. "I would have never admitted this, but you were my world Tweek. You taught me how to express my emotions. How to communicate. You showed me better ways to deal with my problems because what I was doing wasn't working." 

"Then why did you leave me?" I asked. God, I had wanted to know this answer for a long time. "It is simple." "Then tell me." Craig leaned back and looked at the sky. "I was afraid Tweek. I was afraid that you were just in this relationship to keep everyone in the town happy. I know at the beginning that is what we agreed on, but after hanging out with you I started to realize that I did have feelings for you. I was afraid of being in love with you. I wanted to ask you. I was afraid you would confirm what I was thinking though or you would say that you didn't love me." he said closing his eyes. 

I looked at our drawing, "Well I guess I actually didn't teach you all those things you said." Craig chuckled, "You did teach me, but I never said I actually used them." We both laughed a little. Then his smile went away, "I just thought if maybe I break this off then neither one of us wouldn't get hurt. We could just live our lives." 

"But I did get hurt Craig." I whispered. "I cried for weeks. I would ask my mom what I did wrong." I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. Craig spoke very softly, "I am sorry I hurt you. It was never you. I was a selfish human. I know what I did was horrible." He reached out and grabbed my hand. "I don't expect you to forgive me at all. I do want to make things right though." 

My hand felt warm in his and my heart fluttered, but there was something eating at me.

"Then why wait all these years?" I asked. "Why not come to me when you realized this stuff?" Craig pulled his hand out from mine and looked away. "I...don't know." he whispered. I could tell he was lying. Whenever we were little he would remove himself both physically and emotionally from a person whenever he was lying. Craig Tucker was trying to hide something from me.  

_Should I call him out on this lie?_

_Is everything he is saying a lie?_

_Why is he really here?_

"If you want to make things right then tell me the whole truth." I demanded. Craig looked shocked, "I am telling the truth." "Do you think I am stupid Craig? We hung out every day. I know your quirks for when you are lying." I said with tears falling down my eyes. 

"Why did you finally come to me?" I asked this time with more force. 

Panic started to rise on Craig's face. "Fucking tell me!" I yelled. He looked back down and whispered, "I can't." 

I stood up, wiping the tears off my face. "Fuck you Craig Tucker. You are probably doing this just because you feel bad!" I spit out. "I won't have you play with my feelings again." I ran to the bleachers and grabbed my backpack. "Tweek come back!" Craig yelled. I flipped him off and starting running back to school. 

* * *

I wished I had remembered that Craig and I shared art together. We sat across from each other. I refused to look at him. I was not going to be played again. 

I am glad Craig understood not to fuck with me right now. He sat quietly while I drew his dumb face. His stupid face that haunted my dreams. Dreams that would be of us hanging out again. Playing space explorers. God, why did he have to hurt me! 

"You know if you keep a mad face like that you'll develop wrinkles." Craig finally said to me. 

"Fuck you." I whispered back. I could feel a nervousness coming off from Craig. Good. Fuck him. I went back to drawing in a somewhat peaceful silence.

_Why would he not tell me why he came back to me?_

_Maybe he is still having trouble expressing his emotion._

_Maybe he is actually trying to make up and rebuild a friendship._

I shook my head. I cannot try and talk myself out of this. I had a right to be mad at him. He hurt me all those years ago and expects me to just fucking forgive him. Craig slid a note to me. "What are we? Fourth graders?" I asked taking the note. "I know you are mad at me and you have every right to be. I know I am bad at expressing myself. I put my foot in my mouth every time I speak. So I thought the best way to explain myself would be to write a note." he said.

"Seriously? Passing notes in art class?" Mrs. Lane asked. "You know my policy on that." she said taking the note out of my hand. Craig's eyes grew as he tried to get the note from her. "Mr. Tucker, you do not know the rules. In this class, if I find people passing notes I read them out loud. I do this because there should be no reason to keep secrets in this class." she said unfolding the note. I could see the horror in Craig's eyes as Mrs. Lane began to read the note. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooohhhhhhh, I wonder what the note says? I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I am glad to be back on this story. I have had the basic plot for this story written down, but just never found the motivation to write it. I will try and update this one as much as I can, but with school starting back it might take me some time. Do you all think Tweek should let Craig back in his life? Why do you think Craig took forever to finally talk to Tweek about his true feelings? Let me know your thoughts! I enjoy them! 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~  
> Follow and ask me any questions on my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lovelyblossoms


	7. Night Time Notes

"Dear Tweek." Mrs. Lane started. Even though you couldn't see it, there was panic in Craig's eyes. He looked like a deer in headlights. "Please stop!" Craig begged. Mrs. Lane looked away from the note. "Why Craig?" His cheeks were slightly red. "Because." "Because why Craig?" Before anyone of us could react, Craig was out of his seat and ripping the note from her hands. "Craig Tucker!" she screamed. Craig flipped her off as he ran out the door. 

All I could do was sit there in total shock. I had never seen him do that before. "Whatever was in that note he didn't want anyone to hear." Mrs. Lane said looking at the door. I just stared at her. What was in that note?

* * *

The longer I thought about it, the madder I got. Craig completely disappeared after the art fiasco. So, I had to carry his backpack to his friends. Let me tell you, Craig's backpack is really heavy. 

"Well look who it is!" Clyde said wrapping his arm around me. I liked Clyde, but he never understood boundaries. He was always in mine. Craig told me it was because he enjoyed just being close to people. That never helped me though. "W...we...well, it...it's Tweek." Jimmy said with a smile. Token just nod his head at me. "Craig isn't here, so what brings you around?" Clyde asked. I lifted up the backpack. "Craig left this in art class." Token took it from my hand. "Why?" Clyde asked. 

I don't think Craig would want me to tell them why. "I think he got sick." I said trying to keep my voice from cracking. I was bad at doing that when I lied. "Th...th...that is w...wei...weird." Jimmy said. I avoided eye contact. Otherwise, I am sure they would figure me out. 

"Well, I am going to go now. I have to get to class." I quickly said. "We will let Craig know-" I was rounding the corner before Clyde could finish. 

* * *

I sat in the shop doodling on the counter. I hadn't heard from Craig since art class. I shouldn't be worried about him. We just started hanging out again. For some reason though, I couldn't keep him off my mind. 

"What was in that fucking note?" I whispered to myself. 

"What note sweetie?" my mom asked. "FUCK!" I screamed. She laughed as I grabbed the counter. "Don't sneak up on me like that." I breathed out. Ever since I was little I hated when someone snuck up on me. Thank you meth for that fear. "I'm sorry baby." she cooed patting my head. 

I turned to look at her. She was wearing her light blue dress that she has had since I was born. "What do you want?" I asked. My mom stood beside me. "Nothing. I just wanted to hang out with my baby." she said. "Well, there is really nothing to do." I said motioning around the store. She smiled at me then planting a kiss on my cheek. "Oh, well. It will be some good quality time." I couldn't help but smile. When I was little I would love to hang out with my mom, if I wasn't with Craig. 

Mom and I cleaned on the store. Catching up on my crazy life. 

"So, Craig is back in your life." she said questionably. "That is a complicated answer." I said whipping down the tables. "How is it complicated?" "Well, it is just..." I teetered off. She put her hand on my shoulder, "You don't have to tell me." she said with a small smile. "It isn't that. This whole situation is weird. He hasn't talked to me since elementary school. Then, the summer before junior year he randomly comes to the shop and says he is ready to hang out." I said. I could feel my anxiety rising. There was something wrong with this. "He then randomly shows up to my house. Walks me to school and wants me to skip with him. I say no, then end up skipping for around an hour, to draw in the parking lot with him." I said motioning to my chalk colored jeans.

"That seems cute Tweek. It seems he just wants to hang out again." she said grabbing my hands. "I know. When I confronted him about it, he wouldn't give me a straight answer. He then wrote me a note trying to explain it to me." I could hear my voice shaking. Something wasn't adding up to me. Why was he randomly hanging out with me?

My mom put her hand on my cheek. "Honey. I think he is still that shy little boy. I remember he was never good at expressing himself. What was it he use to do?" she asked snapping her finger. "Flip people off." "Yeah! That is how he would express himself. But, with you, I noticed he would try to express his emotions. Maybe writing it down helps him sort out what he is feeling." she said smiling. 

"But I want him to tell me. Tell me why he left me. Why it took him so long to finally come back." I moaned. "Why do you want that?" I looked around. God, why was I so anxious about this. "Because I can tell when he is lying to me." I said quickly. 

"Why do you think he is lying?" my mom asked. "I don't know! I just feel like he is keeping something from me." I said with tears filling my eyes. "Oh, honey." she said wiping my tears. "I don't think Craig could lie to you. I know that boy thought highly of you. I think he is just nervous that you might not feel the same." she said softly. 

I shook my head. Maybe that is it. I know I would be nervous if it had been the other way around. 

"He will express himself once he figures out his emotions." she said with a smile. "Yeah." I said smiling back. She rubbed my head, "Feel better?" I shook my head yes. I did feel better, but there was still something gnawing at the back of my head. "That's good! Now let's get cleaning." she said pumping her fist. 

* * *

I laid in my bed trying to go to sleep. My brain refused to go to sleep. I glance over at my nightstand. I wouldn't tell my parents, but in the drawer, I had some of their meth in there. I haven't used it yet. I don't know why I have it there. I just took it one day while filling the cups. I think it brought me a comfort. There have been times though where I have wanted to take it.

I reached over to it when there was a peck on my window. "Ah!" I screeched. I turned to look at the window. 

_Oh god! The cops are finally here!_

A rock hit my window. "Oh god!" I said wrapping my blanket around me. "Tweek?" I heard. "How do they know my name?" I asked. Another rock hit my window. "Tweek! It's Craig." 

I slowly opened my window. Down below was Craig. "What are you doing here?" I asked. Craig rubbed the back of his neck. "Well?" I asked. Now that I knew it was Craig, I was annoyed. He just looked at his shoes. "If you aren't going to say anything I am going to back to bed." I said closing my window. 

"Wait!" he shouted. I stopped. "I came here to explain myself." he said pulling out the note he ripped from Mrs. Lane's hands. "I wanted to read this to you." Craig cleared his throat as he unwrapped the paper. 

"Tweekers, 

I know we are very different, especially when it comes to expressing ourselves. You are someone who wants to talk about their emotions. You let people know when they are bothering you. When they make you happy. Me, well, I would rather flip someone off and never speak to them again about the topic. It is something that has caused me a lot of issues. I realize though that I do need to talk to you because I hurt you Tweek," he looked up at me, "I did not know how bad I hurt you until we spoke today. I broke things off with you because I am afraid of my emotions. Afraid to feel. Whenever I was with you I felt everything. Love, happiness, fear, scared, joy. That made me so afraid because that meant I could feel heartache."

Craig swallowed, "I was afraid of that because we never truly talked about what we were. I didn't want to bring it up in fear that you would say that we were just doing it to keep the town happy. I loved you Tweek. Don't ask me when I realized it, because I don't know. I just woke up one day and realized that my feeling had shifted. Once I realized this, that is when the fear grew. So I did something that I thought would protect me. I got rid of the thing that made me feel. I thought by letting you go I would never have to experience it. But, I did. I still felt things. I hated it. I wanted my life to go back to before we dated."

I could hear a crack in his voice. "That is why I told you it would be best for us to not hang out again. I know, it is really shitty and selfish of me. It hurt to let you go, but by your reaction, I thought you didn't care that much. You seemed so calm, but now I realize you weren't. You acted the way you did because you loved me and you did not want me to feel bad. You let me be me." A sad smile crept across his face. "They say be careful about what you wish for. My plan worked. Within a short few weeks, I couldn't feel. I was back to the old me. But something was different. There was this small ache in my heart that never truly went away. Me being me, I ignored it."

"My boring life was back to normal. Until, that fateful day before junior year. Fuck Clyde, by the way. He wanted to get a drink for some stupid reason and Tweek Bro's were the closest thing. As we walked in I prayed you weren't there. But, for some reason, the universe likes to fuck with me. There you were, sitting by the counter drawing. When my eyes landed on you doodling, that ache in my heart went away. It was like it never existed at all." Craig looked up at me and smiled, "I realized then Tweek that I loved you still. I realized that I probably will never stop loving you even if I tried my damned hardest to stop. I know I am the shittiest person alive and you probably will never want to hang out with me after this, but please. Give me a chance." he said throwing the paper on the ground. 

I didn't know what to say. This was too overwhelming. "Craig I...I..." My brain was shutting down from this. I needed to do something or I was going to explode. So I did the only thing I could do. I closed my window and laid down. Curling up into a ball I just let all my emotions take over and I cried until I couldn't cry no more.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 1,000 views! Oh my lord! I did not expect this story to get that many views so quick. I hope the note is good. I worked a lot on it. I wanted it to sound like something Craig might say, but I also put my little twist on it. This chapter in all honesty has been my favorite to write (among my SP fanfics). I do hope you enjoy it. I am curious to see how Tweek truly responds to this. Do you all think that he should give Craig another chance or tell him no? Do you think that feeling Tweek gets about Craig is just paranoia or is something truly wrong? What about Tweek still keeping some meth? So many questions! Lol. 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~  
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	8. Painting of Galaxies

I must have fallen asleep at one point during the night. I woke up still curled into a ball. My limbs throbbing in pain. "Dear god." I moaned as I slowly stretched out. "Tweek honey! You up?" my mom yelled from the kitchen. "Yeah." l yelled back. "Well, I am going to the store. Be good." she yelled. I listened as the door downstairs closed and locked. I looked over at the clock. It was almost nine thirty. I guess mom didn't care that I wasn't going to school. 

I sat up. The memory of last night still fresh in my head. "Ugh!" I moaned as I put my head in my hands. "What the fuck was that?" I whispered to myself. I had never seen Craig like that. He was so vulnerable at that moment and what did I do. Shut my window. I was just as shitty as him. "Why did I do that?" I said to nothing. My anxiety began to rise. I looked over at my drawer. The image of the meth came in my mind. My brain whispered,  _If you take some it will help you calm down._ I shook my head no. I wasn't going to take that. I would do something else. 

I got up. "I needed to get my mind off this." I said to myself. And I knew just the thing to do. 

I walked to my closet and pulled out an old t-shirt and some jeans. I grabbed a headband and pulled back my mop of blonde hair. As I walked out of my room, I grabbed my phone and Bluetooth speaker. I went down the stairs two at a time. With each step, I took my mind went back to Craig saying he loved me. How could he still love me? I am literally a fucking mess. An ex-drug addict who keeps meth in his drawer. I walked out of the kitchen and into our backyard. I was going to the shed that we had. In middle school, my dad told me if I made good grades he would turn it into an artist shed for me. 

I had never studied so hard in my life. That summer after I gave dad my final report card, showing off my straight A's, he remodeled the whole thing. I think that is one of the few times I have ever felt anything close to love toward my dad. 

I unlocked the shed door and turned on the lights. The room was covered in paint splatters with tarps hanging here and there. I walked to the back and set my Bluetooth speaker down on my supply table. Scrolling through my Spotify, I walked over to the tarp that was leaning against the wall. Underneath it was my latest art project that I was going to be entering the state competition. I pulled over my stool and removed the tarp. 

I am probably crazy or maybe obsessed with space. That was the only thing I could think about after Craig and I broke up. I was always interested in for different reasons than Craig. I loved the color of the galaxies. How something could look so beautiful, yet be so chaotic. 

This piece I was working on was one of an exploding star. 

I hit play on my Spotify and grabbed my supplies. I loved listening to Florence and the Machines whenever I painted. There was something so raw and magical about her. I felt like I could relate to her because there was something raw about me. But I wasn't magical.

_A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes_

_I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind._

I mixed the colors. It was calming to watch the swirls of the brush as I painted. I lost myself in the music, my mind forgetting about Craig. Forgetting that my parents might be arrested. Forgetting that I even exist. 

_And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat_

_I tried to find the sound_

_But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,_

_So darkness I became_

I don't know how long I was sitting there painting when my mom came in. "That is looking amazing Tweek." she said kissing the top of my head. "Thank you mom." I said putting down my brush. "How much longer do you have until the competition?" she asked. I looked at the calendar by the door. "About three more months." 

I threw the tarp over it and began to clean up. "I have no doubt you'll win!" she said clapping her hands together. "You've said that for the last two years mom and every year I come in second." I said cleaning my brushes. 

I felt her rest her hand on my shoulder. "I just know this year will be the year." she whispered into my hair. 

Suddenly my heart ached. When I closed my eyes, I saw Craig holding that paper and reading me the letter. "Mom..." I said. "What sweetie?" she asked sitting on the stool. "Craig was over here last night. He read me this love letter. He told me how he still loved me." I didn't realize how hard I was grabbing my brushes until my mom took them from my hand. "How does that make you feel?" she asked. "That's it. I don't know! I get so overwhelmed." My mom tilted her head to the side. "What is the first thing you feel when you think about it?" 

I put my hand over my heart. "My heart gets really excited and flutters like crazy." She smiled. "Well, there you go! You get excited." she said. "But I don't want to be!" I nearly shouted. My mom jumped. "Sorry. I didn't mean to yell." I sighed. "It's fine Tweek. Why don't you want to feel that?" she asked. "Because he hurt me, mom. He broke my heart. Didn't speak to me for how many years? Then thinks that I will forgive him. Take him back." I shouted grabbing my hair. 

"Tweek, sweetie." she cooed pulling my hands out of my hair. "Who says you have to forgive him?" "Society." I stated. She laughed at me. "Well, fuck society. You can feel excited, but still not forgive him Tweek." she said patting my head. "Craig did something bad to you. You have the right to hurt. You have the right to heal. It is up to you what you do with Craig." she said pointing at my chest. "Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to be in a relationship with him again. Do you Tweek." she said kissing my forehead. 

I smiled. I don't know where I would be without my mom. "Thank you." I whispered. "You're welcome." she said. 

I finished cleaning up. The talk with my mom helped, but my anxiety was still high. I felt like I was going to collapse on myself.  _Not if you take some of that meth. It'll help_ my inner thoughts whispered to me. I shook my head. I was stronger than that. Wasn't I? I kept glancing toward the tarp with my painting. Wondering if I was just a star about to explode. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy frick, an update! I am so sorry about taking forever to update this bad boy. I just go so invested in my other sp fanfiction, but it is almost over so I thought I would slowly get back into the mindset of this one! I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Song:  
> Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machines (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM) 
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts~  
> If you enjoyed it please leave a kudo~  
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